Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Excuse me, in case this answer comes out like a snobby, self obsessed feminist, but I will say me. Obviously me, and everyone I love, but lets face it, trying to live your life through others just isn't going to cut it in the long run. I come from a family with a history of depression and if I've learned one thing it is that trying to find happiness through others is just a bandaid on the present. Being happy in yourself and what you do is what makes life worth living. For me it is feeling like I am learning and living, teaching and loving, breathing easily. Preferably I am doing this with the people I love but sometimes I enjoying experiencing things on my own. So here is to appreciating yourself, those who have helped shaped you and those who still share experiences in your life. Below a picture of me entertaining myself rummaging for shells in the sand.

Day 6: something you hope you never have to do.

Hmm, not such a simple question. I think it is one of those things you never think of hoping that thinking good thoughts encourages good things or that dwelling on things you can't control is useless and disheartening. But inevitably there are times you worry and when Sean became ill in the fall of 2008 I worried, a lot. Sean has been my best friend for nine years and hopefully my best friend till the day I die; I love him like none other and the thought of not sharing a laugh or snuggling before bed literally makes me tear up. Life would not be the same if I wasn't experiencing it with Sean. I love you Mr. Dowell, for now and for always. Below is a picture Sean drew for me back in high school, probably during a computer class.haha Every time I see this I smile, I feel like it perfectly portrays us. xoxo

Day 5: something you hope to do in your life.

I think this one is a no brainer; I hope to have a family and that I am able to share love with my children and to teach them to share their love. Yes, I said children, multiple. Sean and I would like to have one or two of our own but we'd also love to be able to adopt. Some day...maybe sooner rather than later? Today Sean and I went car shopping (more like car browsing) but when the salesman asked what we were looking for Sean said "well we have one pup and we'll probably have another in a few years and maybe a...." (insert long awkward pause). haha I laughed, and made fun of him for not being able to use such a 'big' word; but really I was secretly thrilled that he's been thinking about it too. I'm in no rush to start expanding our family but I also want us both to feel prepared if life happens as it usually does. So there it is, I want a loving, happy, healthy family. And so I decided to include some happy photos from my childhood with my mom, dad and big sis Amy.

Day 4:something you need to forgive someone for.

I pride myself in forgiveness. When I was a child my parents decided to convert to Antiochian Orthodox and one of the steps in the process was to have confession with a Father from another Orthodox parish. I was nine at the time and had no idea what you were supposed to say in so-called "confession"; moreover, I was nine, and relatively innocent. So I did something confession worthy, and made up a fib. I told the Father I hadn't forgiven my sister for an arguement we had; in that instance, lord knows it was probably about changing the television channel and it wasn't any fight that would call for forgiveness because it was entirely superficial. Nonetheless, the one thing I took away from that confession is that it is a HORRIBLE sin to not forgive. I'm not overly religious, but I do have strong morals and agree with the Father of my childhood that forgiveness is important in life, not for God but for yourself and those you love. Most of the time I don't even like to go to sleep if there is something bugging me; I'd rather just talk it out with whomever I have any ill feelings towards. Life teaches us not everything can be resolved in a day though and I have had my own share of lengthy disagreements, but I cannot recall an instance where I haven't forgiven someone or been too proud to ask for forgiveness. Since my emotions are most strongly tied to those I love I chose to share this picture with my mom and sisters. We are all stubborn women leading very different lives which means the healing process with these women is usually the lengthiest. I love them all dearly though and will always continue to try and build stronger bonds regardless of our differences.

Day 3: something you have to forgive yourself for.

When I was a freshman in high school I tore my acl playing soccer. The following summer I started to play again; I was on varsity this year and on the starting line up. I was a bit overwhelmed - afraid of hurting myself but moreover, afraid of failing. I let the opinions of others matter more than my love for the game and I gave up. It has haunted me, to this day. I'm frightened when I make decisions that I am doing it because it is the easy way out. I need to trust that I can make good decisions and let the bad decisions be a thing of the past.



PS, Tina had the great idea of adding a photo to each truth. I'm a little slow on the posts but they are coming.

New Idea.

Since a nearly a month has already passed since my last post I thought I'd try something a little more structured...like following Tina's lead with the 30 days of truth. So I'll go at hear pace, which hopefully doesn't outpace me. hah. I'm already behind so here it goes;

Day one: something you hate about yourself.
I agree with Tina on this one, hate is a very strong word and I don't often use it. So I'll tone it down to dislike, and that I can manage, easily. I blush like a freaking eskimo doll constantly. "Hello" is greated with a bright red flush of my face. "That's a beautiful necklace", again with extremely hot flushing. I don't like attention focused on me but this blushing thing has just gotten progressively worse over the past year and I have no idea why. I mean, once the ice cream guy asked what I wanted and I blushed - embarassed to be eating ice cream? No, just weirdo Andrea who can't control her blushing. Fingers crossed this is a passing phase.

Day two: something you love about yourself.
I love how I can experience things. Some days, when I'm out and about doing nothing in particular I'm literally taken aback by how beautiful the clouds are, how crisp the air is, a low fog settled over the river, just the beauty and life all around us. I know, you're thinking, "slow down there tree hugger." But I take pride in the tree hugger I am and wouldn't be disappointed if more instances like this rolled across my path. It gives me a brief second of clarity; how big the world is and how small my problems are.

Since I'm here documenting I'd also like to note that my sister is now Amy Wickstrom and our good friends Mary & Jimmy welcomed thier first little one into the world, Madeline Marie. FYI auntie Andrea and uncle Sean will be presenting Madeline with her first Minnie Mouse stuffed animal shortly in preparation for our visit to Disneyland someday. And since I don't have pictures of either of these events to share with you (at least not on this computer) I will share one of my dad and his brother Ed. I love this one because a) we are in a maritime museum and b) there are peering out the window at more boats. You'd think I'd be a boat fanatic with the ways of my father.

Leaving on a jet plane, unfortunately, I know when I'll be back again.

Hahah, yes we are taking off in two days for Maui to help my sister celebrate her wedding day! I am more than thrilled to leave work behind and embrace the warm weather, beaches and relaxation. We'll be there for 10 days, ahh it feels like heaven just saying it. So, needless to say, I guess my taking a few moments each week for myself by updating this will be postponed while I take an entire week in Hawaii. I'd gladly take that concession any day. For now a photo of the bride to be, Amy, ma, our sister Kim and myself.Hopefully the next family picture posted will have palm trees rather than fir trees in the background. :)